February 14, 2003 (Valentine's Day)
Dearest Reba and children,
There are many things about your husband and father that you probably don't know. One is that I did enjoy and appreciate good poetry a great deal, thought I spent great deal more time reading the sports page than I did reading prose.
One item of note: When I was a young man, of high school age, I noted a four-line verse that was in our small-town weekly newspaper. It was used as "filler" at the end of a new story column. I was taken by it and cut it and tucked it into the comer of my billfold and carried it there for many decades. Every time a billfold wore out, I moved it to the new billfold. After a great many years, it just disintegrated but it is still indelibly printed in my mind.
I later learned that the four lines came from a much-longer poem written by Ralph Waldo Emerson and called "Voluntaries". The four lines read like this:
"So nigh is grandeur to our dust So close to God is man
When Duty whispers low, thou must The Youth replies, I can."
As a young man growing up, I often reflected on that verse...... and used it as guidance whenever that was a question in my mind as to whether I could or should do something. I think my momentary reflection on this verse was often one reason that I was a positive, self-confident person who willingly went ahead and did things. Later in my life, when the little clipping of paper was still in my billfold, I remember crossing out "the Youth" and writing in "The Man". I also remember thinking about the verse in 1991 at the age of 62 when I was asked to become the Vice President of Information Technology at Creighton University. Even though technology was not my field, I reflected that as The Man I could do the job and retired feeling that I truly had done the job most satisfactory!
It's remarkable what an impact a little piece of paper can have on your life. That clipping sure did on mine, as did your loving mother. God bless you all!
High School Graduation 1947
Are You a Hummer?
I was having coffee with a friend the other day. Sometime after the second cup the conversation drifted around to religion. I listened intently as my friend told me about his faith. He talked strongly about his “faith community”. After some time passed, I said “You keep using the phrase 'faith community’. What does that mean?” Then he told me that he saw his church community as having four kinds of members.
The first are those that ‘belong to the church’. They have their names on the roster and occasionally attend services, especially on special days like Easter and Christmas. At other times they are nowhere to be seen. And their support of the church and its programs just never happens.
Then he saw another group of members as those who ‘go to church’. They attend fairly regular but seldom ever get involved in any church activities. They say they are always too busy or that they are not interested. Their financial support is one or two bucks here and there. They never use the envelopes and have never even picked them up. He thinks this is the largest group in his church.
Then he explained the third group as those who act like ‘they are the church’. They are regulars, participate in many functions, but are always complaining or telling people how things would be different if the church did things their way. Actually, they are really nice people who are regular donors, but too often tell everyone how much they are doing and giving and think they've got heaven alt locked up. Even though they are well-intentioned, they tend to drive some others away. This is a fairly small group, but they affect the church a great deal.
Then the last group he called ‘God's helpers’. And he admitted that there are a lot in this group as well. They always find time to do one more thing like bake for the bake sales, clean the church, help with the painting, work at the picnic, practice and sing in the choir, call on the sick or needy and give generously to help address the church's financial needs. He said that he has noticed that some of ‘God's helpers’ worked happily and quietly...and that they hummed with contentment when they were doing some tasks they volunteered to do. Then he told me that he now considered himself to be one of this group, but for years he just ‘went to church’. Before no matter how often his wife suggested that they do a little more, he would always say, “We do enough, let someone else do it.” A few years ago, he found ‘the joy and pleasure of doing…of being one of God’s helpers'.
Finally, I just had to ask him what his faith was. He said “Catholic." And he quickly mentioned that he wasn't always a Catholic, but that he had converted to the faith after many years of attending church with his wife and children. He also noted that many of those in the ‘God's helpers’ group were formerly of another faith. He thought that was where they got their strong motivation to be one of ‘God's helpers'...that some other faiths may have a stronger sense of their church as a community.
Then he asked me what my faith was. I told him I too was a Catholic. Then he asked me what member group I fell into. I was sure lucky that the waitress brought the check just then because I never had to answer his question.
But now I've been thinking…just where does my family fit in? Do we just ‘belong to our church,’ do we just ‘go to church’, do we think and act like we ‘are the church’ or are we ‘God’s helpers’? I sure hope I catch myself humming one of these days!
In Psalm 116 it says, "How shall I make a return to the Lord for all the Good he has done for Me?" Why not become one of "God's Helpers”!!
Benny in 2016
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